<<::transmission data-escaped-restored::="">>
Miss Leo: Well, now: it looks like we're back on the air. I ... you know, I think it best -- in the interest of posterity -- that I maintain as much transparency with y'all as I possibly can, so I'm going to tell you what we know, what we don't know and what we are doing about it. Also, as our transmission was interrupted and this is technically a new session, I am not certain if RadioBlog will allow us to append this second portion to the earlier portion; so I'll explain for those of our listeners who are only just joining us: our transmission was interrupted during an earlier call, and we're trying to find out what on earth has happened.
Miss Janelle: I think that's a very good idea, Miss Leo, and --
Miss Leo: Thank you, Miss Janelle.
Miss Janelle: And I can see in the Chat Room that there are a lot of questions and a lot of people very concerned about Magister Pythagoras and that last caller, Denise, and so I sure hope we can help everyone feel at ease.
Miss Leo: You are such a sweetheart, Miss Janelle, and, gosh, I sure hope we can help people feel better, but I guess we should just start with what we know. Do you think so?
Miss Janelle: Oh, yes Ma'am, Miss Leo, I do.
Miss Leo: Well, here's what we know: during that last call -- our first call of tonight's show -- a woman calling herself Denise and claiming to be sleep-deprived for months due to dreams of a cataclysmic volcanic earthquake, asked for our help. And Magister Py was the fellow who started her reading, and it was during his opening incantation that Denise began to do something very odd. It sounded, for all of you who haven't heard it, like it was some kind of chanting, and I know I heard some Latin in there, but there were words of a language I don't recognize.
Now, I'm seeing in the Chat that some people have questions about where Rev. Tal has gone, and that actually brings me perfectly to my next piece of business, which is what we don't know: we don't know ... Well. First off, we don't know what happened to Magister Py. When the transmission was interrupted, we lost all contact with him. Spandau and Sister Murray have been calling and texting him since we were bumped off the air, but we haven't got a response. For a time, all they got was a busy signal. So we have some local members of RARE, Readers and Rootworkers Extraordinaire, and they're heading over to his house right now to check on him.
Miss Janelle: And just so you all know, they bumped out of the Chat Room the minute we lost our transmission.
Miss Leo: Right! Yes, thank you, Miss Janelle: several people in the Chat have been asking about those members of RARE who seemed to disappear from Chat simultaneously with our interrupted broadcast, so let me just list the names of the people who left immediately and are on their way: we've got Madamiana, Doctor H., Edward Teacher, and Professor Zingiber. For those of you who know them, you know that those four are perfectly suited to checking on Magister Pythagoras, and I've had a call from Professor Zingiber, who says that if they can, they will call in from Suisun City when they know more about what has happened.
Miss Janelle: It's a little eerie that those four professionals all live close enough to Magister Py that they can be there quick enough to help him.
Miss Leo: Well, not all of them live that close. We have a couple special projects we've been working on, and it's lucky, I guess, that they're local tonight. Or maybe luck had nothing to do with it; that's the way it works sometimes: we're in trouble, we're in need, and help is at hand. Or help arrives too late. I sincerely hope it's the former. Now: as to where Rev. Tal has gone, it's very simple: he's gone to what he likes to call Trance-sylvania.
Miss Janelle (laughing): Oh goodness ...
Miss Leo: Well, that's what he calls it. I've never been to the Right Reverend's domicile before, but I've seen some anagraphically-treated photos and he's got a room set up with some very specific altars. It looks, from what I've seen, more like a closet than a room, but that's because there are altars set up almost everywhere you look.
Miss Janelle: Like M.C. Escher.
Miss Leo: Right! Like Escher's Ascending and Descending, you know, the picture that looks like, well, what now looks to me like the houses and townhouses in so many recent tract home subdivision monstrosities -- architecturally, you understand, some of them are lovely, but the waste of land, the devouring of open space, the irresponsible planning for things like water and drainage -- well, I could go on all night about this. But the point is, that the inside of Rev. Tal's Trance-Sylvania Station literally has altars everywhere: on the walls, on the ceiling, on the floor, on the door, in the air and on a chair. He has altars just for love, he has them below, above; he has altars in and out, altars for erasing doubt. He has altered altars, too: altars change from red to blue. Altars ev'rywhere, just so; where they come from, he don't know.
Miss Janelle: That -- that was nice, Miss Leo --
Miss Leo: Not sure why that happens, but it happens, so I let it happen.
Anyway: Rev. Tal tells me that he sits in there and achieves trance state by whatever means most suited to the question at hand, and I've never seen what comes next but I have it on good authority that the reason he has altars all over the place in there is that he will be literally, bodily drawn to the one he needs, and that Spirit lifts him and carries him there.
Miss Janelle: Like levitation?
Miss Leo: No, it's not like levitation. Not like levitation -- it is levitation!
Miss Janelle: Holy cow.
Miss Leo: So that's what Rev. Tal is probably doing right now, he's in there getting ready. I know he probably doesn't have his radio on in there, so let's send him a shout-out right now, just to let him know we love him and were thinking about him while he was going inward to check on Magister Py.
So, now, in a way I've clarified everything: what we're doing about this is sending some of the best Rootworkers in the business to check on our colleagues, and we'll be fielding calls from any who can check in, as best we are able.
Miss Janelle: What about Denise?
Miss Leo: That's an excellent question. Denise, to remind everyone, is the lady who called in with the bad dreams, the one who seems to have been afflicted in some way ... and you know, Miss Janelle, it's hard to say. I don't know if we should help her or leave her to her fate. I know that sounds hard-hearted, but we don't know right now if she did this on purpose or if it happened to her while she was calling us. I imagine we'll know more as soon as we --
Spandau: Miss Leo? I have Doctor H. on the line, he's calling in from Cordelia Road, he says --
Miss Leo: Oh! Yes! Put him on!
Spandau: Connecting him now ...
Miss Leo: Doctor H.? Are you there?
[Background noises: screeching, scraping claws on metal and glass, engine straining]
Doc: Yes indeed, my dear, I am here. I have what I suspect is limited time to make this call, so I thought that I would alert you to what we're working with here.
Miss Leo: Okay ... what is that horrible sound, Doctor H.?
Doc: We are approaching a stop sign here on Cordelia road, heading East into Suisun City; we've just passed a farm and some houses near a hard right turn in the road, and we are driving very slowly. Not because we want to be, but because there is something -- or there are some things -- holding onto the car and holding us back. I don't know if you can hear it --
Miss Leo: Oh, I can hear it, alright: that's a horrible, horrible sound!
Doc: I can see claw marks in the hood of the car, I can even see them scraping across the windshield and my passenger-side window --
Miss Leo: Doctor H., do you mean you can see the claws -- ?
Doc: No, no -- I can only see the marks. The claws -- if they are claws -- are not visible to the naked eye.
Miss Leo: Doctor H., get out of there! Turn around and go!
Doc: Sadly, my dear, we've already tried that: trying to reverse the car, the claws pull us the other way. It appears we are being held here -- ...pose, I do not -- [static] if we can [static] was, it was waiting for us here.
Miss Leo: Doctor H., you're breaking up.
Doc: Not surprising [static] light [static] figure approaching the car [static]
Miss Leo: What the fuck is going on out there? Is there anyone else in that region who can go check on Doctor H.?
[silence]
Miss Leo (cont.): Hello? Doctor H.?
Spandau: We lost him, I'll try to get him back.
Miss Janelle: Should we try to get anyone else on the line, Miss Leo?
Miss Leo: No! Best avoided until we know more, honey, sorry: I trust that they'll call if and when they can. But someone, anyone listening in the 707 who is near Fairfield or Vacaville or even Vallejo!, get over there and see if you can help out good old Doctor H.! Somebody help him!
Spandau: I have another call, connecting now --
Professor Zingiber: Hello, Leocadia.
Miss Leo: Professor Zingiber?! Where are you, are you okay?!
Professor Zingiber: There is something surrounding the city of Suisun City, Leocadia. We were rebuffed trying to drive in from the East on Highway 12. Something has pursued us from that point, and we've taken ... evasive action.
Miss Leo: What kind of evasive action.
Professor Zingiber: We have driven our car into the Suisun Slough.
Miss Leo: Wait, wait ... what? You've driven -- ? Into the water?
Professor Zingiber: The thing which is preventing our entry, or the things, whatever they are -- I've been listening to she show via my iPad as we've driven in -- wants us off the road. It tried to throw our car across the highway into oncoming traffic. This street we were just on, it ran down here past a little yacht club and some last houses, and there was the water. I thought, ah yes? Water? Water is not a road, so perhaps we can drive in on the water.
Miss Leo: What are you telling me, Professor Zingiber?
Professor Zingiber: I'm telling you that we are driving in the water, dearest. We are driving past some yachts and boats, I can see the back of that Greek restaurant of which Py is so fond.
Miss Leo: You have got to be kidding me! What are you driving, Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang?
Professor Zingiber: I am driving a 1986 Honda Accord LX-i, manual transmission.
Miss Leo: Are they ... known for buoyancy?
Professor Zingiber: Not. At. All. I'm going to hang up, now, because we need to moor the car at a little landing I can see, but know this: whatever is happening in Suisun City tonight, so powerfully wants us not to get in and help Magister Py, that its strength of focus, its concentration, is altering the very fabric of nature and physics. Possibly even time itself.
Miss Leo: Professor Zingiber, Professor Zingiber, before you go: what is it like to drive in water?
Professor Zingiber: It's like snow. Only much thicker. Oops --
[click]
Spandau: The Professor disconnected.
Miss Leo: Holy ... wow. This is. I have to ask: is this all a complex early April Fool's prank? Y'all need to tell me, because I'm an old lady and it's not nice to play tricks.
Miss Janelle: If it's a prank, it's the best one I've ever heard.
Spandau: We've got another call, but there's no area code --
Madamiana's Voice: -- I think we can go on foot from here.
Miss Leo: Madamiana?
Madamiana's Voice: Wait, stop, duck. ... See that?
Miss Leo: Honey, can you hear us? We're -- we want to know --
[another voice, murmuring]
Madamiana's Voice: I think it sees us.
Other Voice: Oh my God!
Madamiana's Voice: Run. Run!
[scrabble, thud/crack, line cuts off]
Magister Py: Hello, Miss Leo.
...
Magister Py: Hello, Miss Leo. I've come to warn you.
Miss Leo: ... Py ... ?
Magister Py: Hello, Miss Leo. I've come to warn you. We are outside your house.
Miss Janelle: What the ... ?
Magister Py: Hello, Miss Leo. I've come to warn you. We are outside your house. We are inside your shop.
Miss Leo: Py, if this is you, what Chinese Goddess is named for a revered Mushroom? Tell me quick, before I unleash my protectors.
Magister Py: Hello, Miss Leo. I've come to warn you. We are outside your house. We are inside your shop. We have been here. All along.
[Laughter. Whispering. Static.]
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