Notes from the Future: Audio and Handwritten Journal, Part II

Part II

[The following are combined excerpts of audio and handwritten journal entries made in the days following the quake. Handwritten entries italicised.]

June 23

10:01 pm

We are being as quiet as we can. We know they can hear us. We think they may not know we came this way.

[Car driving; occasional sound of automotive struggle]

Veronica: Is the car going to make it?

Edward: Sure it is, it's a Honda.

Veronica: How does this neighborhood look so normal, and we just drove away from a geological war zone?

Edward: Ever been to West Oakland?

Veronica: My sweetie, always with the jokes.

Edward: I'll bet Max has to pee, but I say we don't stop until we get the fuck out of Dodge.

Veronica: Amen, Reverend Hightower.

[Car slows, brakes]

Veronica: Which way?

Edward: Left, I think ... it's hard to see in this smoke.

[Clicking of flashlight]

Edward: Does that say El Capitan?

Veronica: Yes.

Edward: Left. I think I know where this goes.

Veronica: Yes, my love. That is good. I like it when you know the way.

[Static on radio as Edward turns volume up, tries several stations; one comes in clear]

Krasny: ... Michael Krasny, on the phone with Steven Schwarzbach, center director of the USGS Western Ecological Research Center, headquartered in Sacramento; Steven, we've just heard some truly alarming reports coming out of the East Bay. What can you confirm?

Schwarzbach: Michael, we don't have confirmation of anything yet; I'm actually driving up -- my daughter is driving so I could talk to you, but -- we're on our way up to the Robert Sibley Regional Volcanic Preserve, because I think we'll have a good view of the mountain from there.

Edward: You want a good view of the mountain? Most of it has moved to Sycamore Valley Road, you fuckmook!

Veronica: Be nice, he probably knows your uncle.

Edward: Okay, shhhh ...

Krasny (under the above two lines): And that mountain is ...

Schwarzbach: Mt. Diablo. It appears there has been some additional seismic activity and, you know, it's a lucky thing I was here for an exhibit at the Lawrence Hall of Science, just a second, Michael -- (muffled speech off phone) Okay, we're pulling into the parking lot and -- nope, we're going to have to -- Laurel, take that road over there on the right; just -- crash it.

Krasny: If you're just joining us, this is Michael Krasny on the phone with Steven Schwarzbach --

[Big crash through radio, Schwarzbach lets out a "Hooo-eee!"]

Krasny: ... he's the center director of the USGS Western Ecological Research Center, Steven -- your report thus far is a lot more conservative than the calls we've been getting.

Schwarzbach: That's understandable, Michael, it's easy for people who live near an unexpected lake or river of fire to think they see a, um, thing that just can't be there.

Krasny: By which you mean a volcano.

Schwarzbach: You know, I don't mean to sound -- stick to the left, Laurel, fewer trees this way -- I don't mean to sound condescending, but when people get excited they can make a mountain out of a molehill pretty quickly.  Mt. Diablo is not a volcano.  Mountains that are not volcanoes do not simply wake up one morning and become volcanoes. Simple as that.

Krasny: You're taking the conservative scientific view.

Schwarzbach: I am.

Krasny: Well, let me read you some of the reports we're getting, is that all right?

Schwarzbach: Sure, it's entertaining radio, at least.

Krasny: But not sound science, no. That's why we're lucky to have you on the phone this evening. Okay, here's a call from Betty in Danville, who says, "Mt. Diablo has erupted, there is a river of lava flowing down toward my house and 680, I don't think we'll make it but we wanted you to know." Betty, if you're listening, we appreciate the call and we hope you make it out of there.

Schwarzbach: If, in fact, there's any reason to go. Turn right, here. Michael, we're on a fairly treeless ridge, here, heading up toward an area overlooking the old quarry. We'll have an unobstructed view in a few moments.

Edward (speaking over Krasny): Wow, they're on those hills in Oakland and we're right here, now, trying to escape. This is adventurous.

Veronica: Shh ...

Krasny: Here's another call from Louise in Lafayette: "The mountain is burning. It's erupted. God help us all."  Can't get any simpler than that.

Schwarzbach: Mass hysteria is an actual thing, Michael, and we're coming around a bend in the road right now, so there should be --

[Car driving, car driving on radio as well.]

Krasny: Steven? Can you tell us what you see?

Schwarzbach: Holy Mother of God.

Veronica: Oh my God, we're at Crow Canyon Road!

Edward: Of course. Turn left. Let's listen.

Krasny: Steven? Is everything okay?

Schwarzbach: Michael, I was, I was -- it looks like, holy shit, it looks like  -- Michael, forgive me, I'm going to have to cut this call short.

Krasny: Wait, now, Steven, can you tell us what you see?  Can you tell us what's really going on with Mt. Diablo?

Schwarzbach: It's erupted, Steven. The entire Western flank is on fire and, from here, it looks to be ejecting tephra at an alarming rate; there are lava flows down the Western and Southernwestern flanks and it looks like the majority of the lava is coming from the thrust fault on that Southwest flank.  Michael, I have got to get off the phone and call Sacramento right away, I'm sorry.

Krasny: Before you go, do you have any advice for the people at or near Mt. Diablo right now?

Schwarzbach: Get the hell out. And pray.

[click]

Krasny: There you have it, ladies and gentlemen ...

[Edward turns down volume.]

Edward: Wow, nobody is around.

Veronica: Should it be this dark? I get that it's smoky, but this seems really dark.

Edward: See that Chili's? My dad took me there after we saw Billy Zane in The Phantom.  He loved that comic book.

Veronica: You always tell me that when we're here.

Edward: Wait, did Nadine say Crow Canyon or Bollinger?

Veronica: Bollinger. Crap.

Edward: Just turn around and --

[CRASH: a rock smashes through the passenger side window, hitting Edward. The carpet catches on fire, Max is barking, the car is filling with smoke]

Veronica: What was that?! What is that?! Are you okay?!

Edward: Hospital Hospital Hospital, Christ, find one DON'T TOUCH MY LEG, FOR FUCK'S SAKE I NEED MEDICAL ATTENTION NOW --

[Amid shouting and barking, sound cuts out]

Notes from the Future: Audio and Handwritten Journal, Part I

[The following are combined excerpts of audio and handwritten journal entries made in the days following the quake. Handwritten entries italicised.]

June 23

10:00 pm

I don't know where we are.

[Car driving, wind through open windows, Max snuffling about.]

Veronica: I think Max might have to pee.

Edward: We'll stop in a bit, I want to get past all these people.
               For the audio journal. it is now 8:15 pm; we are on Camino Tassajara in Blackhawk, it's been slow going since we met Nadine on North Livermore; the back roads, while not clogged with traffic, carry their own set of obstacles: thus far we've encountered one landslide, two abandoned police blockades, four traffic snarls around accidents; three of the accidents were days old. Those cars also appeared abandoned.

               Looks like there's a forest fire on top of Mt. Diablo, a brush fire or something. Man, that's a lot of smoke. There was a woman outside her car at the intersection of Highland and Camino Tassajara, praying hysterically toward the mountain, rosary and all. She was parked where the fruit stand usually is. I wanted to ask her if she had fresh hysteria, but Veronica wouldn't slow down.

Veronica: Be nice.

Edward: I am nice.

               There are hundreds of people on foot, here, many of them in the street. Most are heading North-Northwest, the same direction as us. This makes me wonder if the Sycamore Valley Road overpass is intact.

Veronica: Where do you think they're coming from?

Edward: Work, I'm guessing. ... They don't look like they live in Blackhawk. Domestics, gardeners, maybe. Wow, I don't see anyone on foot who does not appear to be of spicy Latin blood.

Veronica: Going home on foot?

Edward: Buses aren't running, most roads are --

[Bus goes roaring past on right, barely misses sideswiping the Honda]

Veronica: What the hell, man!?

Edward: That bus was full of ... uncomfortable-looking families. I think they were all white. Is there an Express Bus to Utah or something?

Veronica: Oh my God, where are they going?

Edward: I don't know, but it appears they are determined to get there before us.

Veronica: They're heading in the wrong direction. They're heading toward Mt. Diablo.

Edward: So are we.

Veronica: Yes, but look: they're waiting to turn onto Camino Tassajara. Isn't that heading toward Brandon's house?

Edward: Yes, it is.

Veronica: Should we go check on him?

Edward: He directed an award-winning film about a Zompocalypse, I think he'll be just fine.  Hopefully he'll have the sense to get the hell out of Danville ASAP.

[Giant explosion as Mt. Diablo erupts; a flaming chunk of rock comes rocketing down to tear the bus in half; most sound distorted for a time, lots of screaming and squealing tires, Max barking in terror; coherence picks up at:]

Edward: Drive! Drive! Drive!

Veronica: Where?! Where the fuck should I drive?!

Edward: Straight ahead! Christ, look, there's an opening! Do you want me to drive?!

[Scuffle/rustling]

Veronica: Ow! What the fuck -- get your hands off the -- that hurts you asshole!

[Acceleration, sounds of fire and screaming grow louder]

Edward: Then move your goddamn foot, woman!

Veronica: I can't, you're pinning it to the pedal -- OUCH!

[Thud and grunt as Veronica elbows Edward back into the passenger seat, car screeching to a halt; thud from Max banging into the back of the passenger seat. Another eruption from Mt. Diablo, louder, larger, like Hell unleashed; something large is coming their way, something gigantic and crackling with fire]

Edward: Go.

Veronica: We'll never make it.

Edward: Then risk it.

Veronica: That thing is larger than our house.

Edward: It's larger than our street and it's moving faster than you think. Do you want to die sitting still or risk success?! GO!!!

[Slight silence, perhaps because the living uninjured on the ground can see and hear it now, as well; the sound of burning and the screams of the dying are all that can be heard. Then:]

Edward: I want us to have babies. Let's live.

[Sudden acceleration; some shouting as a group of people try to stop the car speeding past]

Edward: Straight.

Veronica: I see it.

Edward: Through.

Veronica: I see it.

Edward: There.

[The car vrooooooms as it leaves the ground; what appears to be the top 1/3 of Mt. Diablo crashes into the ground where the Honda was when it stopped; several large boulders are crashing into houses and cars and people all around as rocks and chunks of flaming material hit the car.]

Edward: Holy shit!

[The car lands hard, skidding, screaming, comes to a halt.]

Veronica: I'm okay.

Edward: You okay?

Veronica: I'm okay. I'm okay.

Edward: Good. That's got to be a drop of at least fifteen feet. I did not know there was no road there.

Veronica: Neither did I. I would never have tried to jump it.

[More flaming debris is landing, a large chunk hits the passenger side door with the impact of a small rhinoceros.]

Edward: Ow, fuck! Let's get the hell out of here.

[Car accelerating.]

Veronica: Try the overpass?

Edward: ... sure. May as well.

[Chunks of rock landing all around as they drive]

Edward: Look out.

[BANG! Chunk of rock on hood of car, hissing from engine]

Edward: Fuck this, turn left.

Veronica: What if the overpass is there?

Edward: Turn left now!

Veronica: No!, see? Look: it's ...

[Car slows, stops, idles]

Edward: That's a river of fire.

Veronica: How far down do you think it is?

Edward: I'm not getting out to check. Let's go, turn around.

[Car executing three-point-turn, driving, tense silence.]

Veronica (sim.): Oh my God.

Edward (sim.): Oh my God.

We can still hear Mt. Diablo erupting. The resemblance to Mt. Doom when we turned the car around was shocking. I always thought that Reno, Nevada was Mordor. Now Reno seems like heaven.

Edward: Turn right.

Veronica: You said left.

Edward: That was when we were heading West. TURN RIGHT NOW.

[Squealing tires, shifting items in car.]

Veronica: I was mesmerized by the lava.

Edward: We will not be able to return this way.

[Silence for a time, only car and wind can be heard]

Notes from the Future: Audio Journal III

[Further excerpts from an audio journal of voice memos made some days after the quake]

Part III

[Wind, car slowing down on gravel, mid-sentence:]

Veronica: ... she's carrying a baby. She probably does need help. 

[Car stopping, brake engaged, engine off.]

Edward: I'll get out. Stay with Max. Max, stay.

[Keys jingle, seat belt disengages, car door opening, breeze, pickup speeds past, hiking boots on gravel, car door closes.]

Veronica: I'm coming with you. Could be a trap.

Edward: Better you stay in the car, then.

[Generally same as earlier, only not as close. No keys jingling.]

Veronica: Too late.

Voice: Hi, there, can you help?

Edward: What seems to be the trouble?

Voice: My baby is sick. 

Veronica: Oh no ... what happened?

Voice: I was at work, they actually wanted me to come in to work, up at Cal State. They wanted me, so I went in. We didn't even live in the flats, we lived in the condos on Walpert.

Edward: Near the cemetery.

Voice: Yes. Yes, oh, I should -- hi, I'm Nadine.

Edward: Edward. And this is Veronica.

Nadine: Wonderful names, I can tell you're nice people. 

[Awkward silence; sound in distance: gunshot? Car backfiring? Hard to tell.]

Veronica: What happened at Cal State?

Nadine: Nothing. But I work nights. I came home and they were sick, from the, from the fishkill, I guess.

Edward: Who was sick, you have more people with you?

Nadine: In the car, I'll show you.

Veronica: Okay.

Edward: Veronica.

Veronica: What?

Edward: Caution.

Nadine: Oh! Right, of course. You want to be careful. Yes. Okay, look, I'll open all my car doors and you can come far over and look inside. It's an SUV, so look, I can -- pop the back open with a button and -- there you go, the doors, and -- I suppose I should introduce everyone. This here in the kiddie seat is my little girl Kiley, say hi, Sweetie. Her hair isn't usually so messy, it's got more curl in it ...

[Silence. Long. Veronica gasps quietly.]

Nadine: This is my husband, Rick. Rick, this is Edward and Vanessa.

Edward: Veronica.

Nadine (sim.): Victoria.

Veronica (sim.): What?

Edward: Her name is Veronica. What's, um ... what's wrong with Rick?

Nadine: He's pretty tired.

Edward: Hey Rick, you okay?

[Wind blows, another car passes.]

Veronica: Honey, it's okay, there's no one else in the car.

Edward: I can see that, but, Nadine, why aren't they moving?

Nadine: Oh, I wasn't clear, sorry. I got home and they'd gotten sick from the fishkill, from the nitrogen, is what I found out later, so I put them in the car to get them out here away from the nitrogen.

Veronica: Can I, is that ... does your baby have a name?

Nadine: This is Joseph. Baby Joseph.

Veronica: Is Baby Joseph sick, too? Is that why you stopped?

Nadine: You know, I don't quite remember?  I stopped and got out, and I had Baby Joseph in my arms ... Do you want to hold him?

Veronica: Yes, please, I love babies.

Edward (sighing, under breath): Veronica ... nitrogen bloom ...

Veronica: Hello, Baby Joseph. Hoo, someone needs a fresh diaper! Hello, Baby Joseph. 

               Whoa, what's wrong with his ... neck ...

[Wind. Distant sirens.]

Edward: How long has Baby Joseph been asleep like this, Nadine?

Nadine: Since I got home. They all were. Rick didn't want to get up, so I had to carry him out to the garage. Lazy ass.  

Edward: Honey, I think Baby Joseph wants his mommy.

Veronica (very quietly): Yes. Okay. Goodbye, little baby ...

Nadine: Do you guys think you can help me?

Edward: What kind of help do you need, Nadine?

Nadine: I think, I just ... I really need a nap. Could you guys watch the kids while Rick and I take a nap?

Edward: I think the kids are going to be just fine. Do you think you should take them to the hospital? Because they're sick?

Nadine: Could I nap there, do you think? I have Kaiser, I don't know if they'll let me nap.

Edward: Probably. But take the children inside first.

Nadine: Where is it? I'll write it down.

Edward: This is North Livermore, that's May School Road. Take May School Road to Dagnino, make a right, then ... left on Raymond ... yes, then right on Vasco. Take Vasco over the Freeway, make a right at Las Positas Road ... good ... cross First Street, pass Target, and over a little rise, just past some car dealerships, is Kaiser. Right next to Kohls.

Nadine: They're having a sale, I can get the kids some new clothes for the trip.

Edward: Right. Yes.

              Veronica, you ready to go?

[Wind, a crow in the distance.]

Nadine: Thank you both for helping me. 

Veronica: It's okay. 

Nadine: You're very nice people.

Edward: Nadine, you should get in your car now and take your family to the hospital.

Nadine: Oh. That's a good idea. 

             Do you think I could nap there?

Edward: Here, let me write something on the directions:

[Car passing, sound of pen on paper on roof of 1988 Honda Accord LX]

Nadine: "Free Naps"? Where?

Edward: At your hospital. It was on the news just now. Better go quick, the naps are in short supply.

Nadine: Oh, okay! Wow, thank you! Bye!

[Car doors closing, SUV starts]

Veronica: Bye ...

Edward: Nadine! One more thing!

Nadine: Yes?

Edward: What are the roads like getting back to Hayward? Was it easy getting over here?

Nadine: Do not go to Hayward.

Edward: How did you get here?

Nadine: Do not go to Hayward. 

Edward: Will you please tell me how you go over here from there?

 

[Wind, motor running. Then car in reverse, tires on gravel, sound of car coming closer, then idling]

Nadine: You were warned to go another way.

Edward: What the fuck?

Nadine: Hayward is not for you.

Veronica: What are you saying?

Nadine: You need proof, but you will not like it.

Edward: Please.

[Wind. Idling SUV. Crow.]

Nadine: Bollinger stands. Norris is open. Do not crest Norris. Take Ashbourne to Cliffecastle, the gate beyond is already broken. Take the dirt road beyond; there are houses out at the end of it. Do not go near them, take the first faint track on the left, stick to the right after that, it will get easier to drive after a time. Eventually, you will find Jeep Trail, which will take you back to Norris. You know your way from there.

Edward: How did you get around 580 from Walpert?

Nadine: I didn't.

[Engine revs, SUV takes off, spitting gravel.]

Veronica: Ow.

Edward: Let's go.

[Getting back into car, doors, keys, seatbelts, ignition, shifting into drive.

Long time of wind, warm air, radio on low.]

Veronica: I didn't ...  I didn't think her baby was dead.

Edward: I did.  I tried to warn you.

Veronica: I know.

[Wind, occasional cars passing in opposite direction, one honking madly.

After a long time, Veronica sings along softly with a song on the radio; it's barely audible through the static.

Sound cuts out.]

Notes from the Future: Audio Journal II

[Further excerpts from an audio journal of voice memos made some days after the quake]

Part II

[Wind through car windows, engine running. Veronica in the middle of a sentence.]

Veronica: ... why it matters. Particularly the street names. Who gives a shit what streets we're on, or what streets we might or might not take?

Edward: It matters to me. To keep a record.

Veronica: For who?

Edward: Just in case.
              Aaaaaand, just in case you're only just now tuning in, folks, we've packed up the car Beverly Hillbilly style in order to drive toward, not away from but toward the really dangerous inland sea forming in the western 925 area code.
              We drove around for a while in Springtown, Veronica was navigating. This might explain why it's now ... three forty five pm ... 

Veronica (singing): Asshole!

Edward: She won't sing me a song if I beg her, but she will sing about my anus. It's love, folks. Y'oughtta try it. 

Veronica: Where are we now?

Edward: You don't know? You're the one with the atlas, Navigator.

              Folks, when I asked her to be the Navigator, she thought it was a relative of the crocodile ...

Veronica (laughing): Heyyyy! I did not. Oh ... my God, you are such a pain.

Edward: We are on ...

Veronica: On ...

Edward: Tell me, tell our listening audience: we are on what road?

Veronica: Oh, we are on May School Road. Like anyone gives two shits. And right now we are turning, ladies and gentlemen, onto ...

Edward: Me now? Okay: onto North Livermore Avenue!

Veronica: Woo! Nobody gives a fuck, but we know what road we're on! High-five!

[SMACK, thump of microphone, Edward says ouch, sound cuts out.]

Notes from the Future: Audio Journal I

[The following is an excerpt from an audio journal of voice memos made some days after the quake]

Part I

[Sound: driving in car, wind, engine, Max occasionally sniffing at the recording device.]

Edward: June ... 23, it's, I think it's ... 1:47 pm, V and I are on our way. Weird how normal some things are. Safeway gas was closed, but the little Arco over near Pine was open and not crowded. Streets kind of quiet. Traffic was terrible on the freeway right after the quake, I was expecting to see more people now, refugees from Pleasanton. Must upset them to have to come to Livermore. I mentioned that to another guy at the gas station and he said tents are set up on the football fields at the High Schools, maybe at the college as well. 

Veronica: Look over there.

Edward: Oh my God ... holy shit. Well, there's no way we're just driving up North Livermore, the freeway has crumbled there. Let's see, turning around ... and ... Springtown, perhaps.

Veronica: Edith said the First Street overpass is closed.

Edward: Max, do you have to snot on my neck? Jesus. Okay, well, we're on Las Positas Road right now, we'll take a look at the ... the, um ... hey. Honey, do you smell that?

Veronica: Oh my God, do you think McDonald's is open?!

Edward: Calm down, I don't want product endorsement in my voice memo. 

Veronica: "I don't want product endorsement in my voice memo" -- what, are you going to put that on your blog somehow?

Edward: Maybe someday.

Veronica: You're the only person I know who would record driving around after an earthquake and put it on his blog. 

Edward: I'm also the only person you know who does a flawless James Mason.

Veronica: Do you know what I mean, though? You're the only person I know who thinks people will want to hear what you saw or smelled or -- oh. My God. Did you fart?

Edward: It was Max.

Veronica: Bullshit.

Edward: Here we are, stoplight at Las Positas Road and  ... looks like ... Edith was right, there's no going over the Freeway on First Street. Let's try Vasco.

Veronica: What if it's broken, too?

Edward: Greenville.

Veronica: And if that's broken?

Edward: We reevaluate our trip to Hayward.

Veronica: Max is such a good boy. He didn't fart. Did you, Max? Did you fart? Did you? Are you a stinky fart face like your da -- GAAAHHH, yuck, dog tongue in my mouth!

Edward: Vindicated. Thank you, Max.

Veronica: That wasn't vindication.

Edward: It is a scientific fact that when a dog puts his tongue in your mouth, he is telling you you're wrong.

Veronica: Why are you slowing down?

Edward: Do you see that car behind us?

Veronica: Yes.

Edward: It was behind us on Portola.

Veronica: No ...

Edward: I'm pretty sure.

Veronica: How can you know?

Edward: License plate.

Veronica: The boy with numbers problems can remember numbers he sees backwards in a mirror?

Edward: Consider the potential consequences if I'm right.

Veronica: What are you saying?

Edward: Consider the consequences.

Veronica: I am, but what are you saying?

Edward: I'm saying, fucking consider the fucking consequences! Consider them!

Veronica: You think you're the smartest man alive. 

Edward: Look at that.

Veronica: You think you know everything. "I'm Edward Hightower, I play chess. I play swords. I play Max ...

Edward: Bialystock. Look at --

Veronica: Bialystock! Yes. "I'm Edward Hightower, and I am soooo funny. I look at porn all day long --"

Edward: LOOK.

Veronica: What.
               Oh.

               My God. Where did it go?

Edward: It must have collapsed. Or something. It'll be years before they get that open again.

Veronica: Hey -- oh my God, we're -- we just drove over the freeway!

Edward: I was trying to point that out to you with the words, "look at that."

[Cloth rustling, faintly one hears Veronica say, "I'm hungry," then the sound shuts off.]

Notes from the Future: Supplemental Audio Journal

[The following is an excerpt from an audio journal of voice memos made some days after the quake. It was made while driving around to every known road out of Livermore, including those leading into Trevarno, to see which would be the best route.]

[Sound: driving in car, both windows down, Alison Krauss singing 'Now That I've Found You.' Veronica is mid-sentence]

Veronica: ... and that's all you have to say? "Oh"?

Edward: Oh can mean a lot. (singing) Oh, Canada! Tra-la-la-la-la-la!

Veronica: She was calling me from Tahoe.

Edward: (singing) O Tannenbaum, O Tannenbaum, Do you come from Canada?

Veronica: Her brother practically dragged their mom to the car, she was refusing to go. She said she had the wrong shoes. 

Edward: (singing) Ooooooooo-klahoma, where the shit comes creeping down my leg!

Veronica: Listen to me: she said you told them to go.

[Silence from Edward; sound of wind through car windows, driving in car]

Veronica (cont.): What, is that your silent "Oh"?

Edward: I think you have more experience with those.

Veronica: (laughing) Don't distract me, bastard, did you call them or not?

Edward: Veronica, I have no way of knowing. Our neighbors as much as accused me of spying on them. Someone seems to have been following us since we left Uncle [Credit Union], there was a note with my preferred escape route pinned to the lemon tree --

Veronica: It was a thorn, if you'll remember. 

Edward: THORNED to the lemon three -- Jesus Christ, woman -- my point is that I have the very distinct feeling that someone is following us -- A -- and B, that someone is also impersonating me. And something tells me (but I don't know what, do don't annoy me with that line of questioning), something tells me that the person following us and the person impersonating me are one and the same. 

Veronica: One and the same?

Edward: One and the same.

Veronica: One and the same.

Edward: What are we, in clown school now? The. Same. Person.

Veronica: You can't blame me for mocking you just a little bit, honey. You are, after all, the only person I know who would develop that theory.

Edward: Can you think of a better theory?

[Brief silence]

Veronica: I --
                 No.

Edward: What?

Veronica: It's not necessarily a better theory.

Edward: I want to hear it.

Veronica: It's what I would want it to be if we were characters in some awesome HBO series.

Edward: Would we be HBO?

Veronica: AMC? Showtime? Netflix?

Edward: All excellent choices. But I wonder if we wouldn't Be More ... PBS.

Veronica: PBS ...

Edward: We'd have to be having more sex for it to be HBO.

Veronica: (laughing) I might earn us some HBO time at the cabin, you wait and see. 

Edward: (after a silence) What if we just headed there now?

[Veronica says nothing for a few moments. We hear Max shifting in the back seat, yawning.]

Veronica: You're like an American Dr. Who to begin with ...

Edward: Sacrilege! And don't think I didn't notice that, just now, with the abrupt subject change.

Veronica: Seriously, though, if there's one American who could pull off the Doctor, it would be you.

Edward: Are you suggesting I would give David Tennant or Matt Smith a handy?

Veronica: (laughing) No!

Edward: Because now that you mention it, I probably would.

Veronica: Wow. Huh. Actually, I can't say I blame you.

Edward: Would you really cast me as Dr. Who?

Veronica: Totally. But you'd have to be the accidentally-American-Doctor. Like it was all a big mistake. 

Edward: One episode, tops.

Veronica: I'd give you a season. And multiple cameos in future seasons.

Edward: Hartnell, Troughton, Pertwee, Baker, Davison, other Baker, McCoy, McGann, Eccleston, Tennant, Smith, Hightower!

Veronica: What about what's-his-name, the new one?

Edward: John Hurt?

Veronica: No, no, the other new one. 
               Oooh, ooh, they would do those super-frustrating and tantalizing BBC seasons, where you have to wait until Christmas for the next one, and I'd be like, where is my sweetie going to show up next?

Edward: So what was your theory?

Veronica: My -- oh. Eh. Well ... nah.

Edward: Tell me.

Veronica: I'm not so sure anymore. If it was PBS, I'd want more of a period piece. Set in Scotland in the 1700's.

Edward: I'll Diana your Gabaldon.

Veronica: But you know what I mean. 

Edward: Would you tell me?

Veronica: Okay. It's stupid, really. But if this was a series on HBO, I would want the person following us to be played ... by you.

Edward: What?

Veronica: Is it a bad idea?

Edward: I thought you were talking about a whole other angle, like plot or arc or something. You're thinking about casting. I like that.

Veronica: I don't know, my mind just kind of went there. I was thinking about how it would look, opening credits ...
    (singing:) Little Earthquakes, in the Hayward,
                   Little Earthquakes, then valley floods,
                   Little Earthquakes and the cabin and a note stuck to a tree ...

Edward: Wow, you're actually singing ... I love it. This is nice. We should choose the wrong route more often.

Veronica: Then I thought, well of course Marissa Tomei would play me --

Edward: Or Mira Sorvino. Or, if Marissa and Mira had a daughter ...

Veronica: I knew you loved me.
               And they'd have to get someone totally awesome to play you.

Edward: Chaplin and Welles are dead.

Veronica: So sad, they'd be just the right age.

[Car braking, sound of other cars in vicinity.]

Edward: Whoa, nelly! I'm not that old.

Veronica: (laughing) Ha-ha! And then -- ? I was thinking -- ? That it would be totally awesome if you played you in the car behind us.

Edward: We're at a stoplight, let's just see. 

[Sound: creaking of rearview mirror as Edward angles it to see directly into the eyes of the driver behind them.]

Edward: Je-sus -- 

[Sound: Edward floors it through the red light; we hear squealing brakes and cars honking and people yelling as:]

Veronica: (sim.) Whatareyoudoingwhatareyoudoingwhatareyoudoing?!
Edward: (sim) Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa -- !

[Sound: a jumble of screaming, shouts, squealing tires, acceleration with Edward occasionally muttering or yelling:]

Edward: Right! ... Left! ... Right! ... Left! ... Left! ... U-turn! ... Right! ... We were just here! Shit! U-turn!

[Sound: the above continues until we hear an abrupt squeal of tires and brakes and then the car sits, idling.]

Veronica: What. The fuck, Edward Hightower? Whose house is this?

Edward: I have no idea. Shut up, we're being followed. 

[Sound: Veronica shifting in her seat, rolling her window down farther.]

Veronica: No. We're not. And don't tell me to shut up --

Edward: Yes we are. Look. There. 

Veronica. That's ... wait. They're slowing.
               They've stopped.

Edward: I'm getting out.

Veronica: No --

[Sound: brake lever, seatbelt unbuckling, jingling of keys as Edward's knee hits them where they stay in the ignition -- the car remains idling -- car door opening and Edward standing outside car, closing door. Veronica gets out, closing her door and standing next to car, saying:]

Veronica (cont.): Max, stay.

[Sound: Max whines.]

Edward: I'm going over there.

Veronica: Honey -- ? Oh, you are definitely not ... Jesus. Okay.

[Sound: we go with Edward as he walks toward the other car. Its engine revs. We hear Edward's footsteps speed up, then the other car shifts into reverse. Simultaneous, we hear Veronica cross around to driver's door of Edward's car and get in, closing the door.]

Edward: Fucker's backing up -- ! Three point turn, point one!

[Sound: Edward begins to sprint toward the other car.]

Edward: (cont.) Point two!

[Sound: Edward is much closer to the other car. We hear its gears grind as it shifts.]

Edward: (cont.) Almost there -- point three!

[Sound: Edward reaches the other car, stops, gasping for breath.]

Edward: (cont.) Holy ... shit ...

[Sound: Metallic burning noise mixed with human speech.]

Edward: (cont.) Oh God, I think I'm gonna puke ...

[Sound: More metallic burning speech, simultaneous with Veronica's backing the Honda out of the driveway and approaching with Max barking frantically from within. Sound of card stock unfolding as Veronica arrives.]

Veronica: What the ... 
(reading) "Don't touch me. Ever.
                    And Fuck Off!"
               Hey, who -- 
               Oh my God.

[Sound: Other car speeds off. We hear Veronica get out of the Honda: brake set, seatbelt, ignition turned off, keys jingling, car door opening and closing.]

Veronica: (cont.) That was -- that was -- that was you ... ! Who the fuck!? How -- ?!

Edward: ... head's buzzing ...

Veronica: Honey -- oh --

Edward: Fucking don't touch me. Ever. NOT while my head is buzzing.

Veronica: Wow, okay. Is there anything you need. Are you walking to Hayward?

[Brief silence. We hear distant sirens, helicopters.
Edward laughs. Veronica sighs.]

Edward: Water, please.

[Sound: We hear Veronica walk around to trunk of car. As she does, we hear the engine of a large pickup truck as it pulls up nearby.]

Voice in Truck (Bracken): Now, are you folks okay?

Edward: We're ... fine. I just got a little dizzy, is all.

Voice (Bracken): In trying times like these, faith ... can be its own reward.

Edward: Thank you. 
              I'm Edward. Edward --

Veronica: (interrupting) Water.
                                   Who's this?

Voice (Bracken): Bracken. Thomas Bracken, Reverend, Unitarian Universalist Church, Doctor of Divinity.

Veronica: Like the candy?

Bracken: Oh, my, I certainly wish. So, are you alright? Do you need any help?

Edward: I ... there was something I was trying to remember ... but -- nah, it's gone. Our main concern is the best road West. We're trying to get to family in Hayward and Oakland.

Bracken: Son, if I were you all, I would not head West. It is a mess over there, and I have a feeling it's only going to get worse. My brother-in-law has a police scanner and he says there's already rioting in Oakland. The situation as it stands is ... uncomfortable. Angles don't work.

Edward: We can't reach our family, we --

Bracken: Son? I'm gonna tell you something and you need to listen to me, listen real close: sometimes we have to ignore the people we love and listen to the inner. Sometimes we have to pay attention to the angles.  Do you understand that you've arrived at the Quincunx?

Edward: Quincunx? That's an astrological term --

Bracken: Can you listen to an old man talk, or must you rattle on so?

[Sound: cars passing in the distance.]

Edward: Sorry.

Bracken: I reckon I've said about as much as I need to. Head East, if you know what's good for you.

Edward: Reverend Bracken, I'm really sorry that I interrupted you.

Bracken: It's not that you interrupted; it's that you didn't answer my question. Do you need me to repeat the question?

Edward: Yes, please.

Bracken: Do you understand that you've arrived at the Quincunx?

Edward: No, I don't think I do understand.

Bracken: Ask me a question, now, if you please.

Edward: How can I know if I've arrived at a Quincunx?

Bracken: Not a Quincunx. The Quincunx, Mr. Hightower. The Quincunx. You are in it right now, and you don't even know.

Edward: What should I do -- how can I find out more?

Bracken: If I were you, I would find out the exact definition of Quincunx. Before you go anywhere else. Your lives may depend upon it.

Veronica: Why?

Bracken: Because you will find yourselves here again. And what happens after we part will shape everything that occurs when you return. If you follow my advice, you will be victorious. If you don't, there's no way to know.

Edward: Thank you. May I ask --

Bracken: Whup, my time's up. Gotta run. Gotta ske-daddle, as they say. Nice talkin' to y'all, hope you heed my advice, don't expect you will.

[Sound: Pickup truck revs, Bracken drives away.
We hear Edward and Veronica getting back into the Honda. Edward in driver's seat. Honda starts, pulls forward to stop sign, brakes, left turn signal clicking.]

Veronica: Huh.

Edward: Quincunx. Man. I keep feeling like there's something really important I'm supposed to remember.

Veronica: What do you think it is?

Edward: We should go to the library, if it's open. I should do some research. Maybe I'll remember what's evading me ...

Veronica: We'll talk about it. In the meantime, we need gas. Let's see what the lines are like at Safeway. I'm hungry, are you hungry?

Edward: Always.

[Sound: Alison Krauss, 'I Will'. Veronica hums along.]

Edward: Oh, wow. Forgot --

[Sound: Fingers scrabbling on iPhone, click and recording ends.]