NFTF: Cordelia Road

[The following was left on an answering machine, in the hopes that a specific individual would hear it. Unfortunately, the machine was switched for a new digital phone / answering machine shortly after this message was left, and it is not known if the intended recipient has received  -- or ever will receive -- this message.]

[static, screeching metal, straining engine]

Dr. H.: Ah, good evening --

[thud, a shout from a female]

Dr. H.: Your mother sends her regards. We're having a ... spot of bother up here. We're on Croatia Road, near Suisun. Give us a call --

[message ends]

 -- BEEP --

[screeching voices and screeching claws on metal and glass, engine roaring, sound of blows on exterior of car]

Dr. H.: Your mother asked me to call you again --

The Mrs (in the background): Oh, give me that --

[scrabbling, a thud, more scrabbling, then:]

The Mrs (cont.): Your father dropped the phone. Big surprise. Honey, we need your help. We're on Cordelia Road, not Croatia -- man, his brain is --

[crash, breaking class]

Dr. H. (in background while The Mrs. shouts into the phone):
Umbellularia Californica! Ah-ha! Yes, and Rubus Ursinus! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Ocimum Basilicum and fuck your self, sir! Rubus Argutus! No? How 'bout some Rosmarinus Officinalis!? Try a little Rubus Fruticosus on for size! Syzygium Aromaticum I say unto ye! And blessed be the Rubus Ulmifolius!, but none so pro-pro-pro-tective and auspicious as Cinnamomum Veronicum!

The Mrs (shouting over Dr. H.): We know you probably have rehearsal tonight, but if you can spare a minute to come up here and help us out it would be lovely! 
     (to Dr. H.) Jesus Christ, you sound like Dumbledore in a spice shop!
     (to phone) Your father took us away from a Dog Club meeting to go help one of his damn fool Friends of Pickwick, or whatever they call themselves! We're at the stop sign --

[crash or thud, screeching and shouting that thins out into one long electronic whine and then cuts off]

-- BEEP --

Dr. H. (whispering): Son, we really need your help. We're in a culvert some distance from the car, your mother stumbled and hit her head. There seems to be someone near the car, I don't know if it's the figure I saw outside before I called you, or ... if it's ... someone new. Looks familiar, but too far to tell; if that's you, get out of there: you do not want to deal with those things. I grabbed my kit, I can treat your mother and hold them at bay if they catch our scent. But we only have a short time before --

-- BEEP --