Notes from the Future: SMS

June 4, 2003 4:05 pm 129119+495846 Concatenated Message Retrieved: This message is from your future self. Pay heed, Journeyman. Nolle's predictions of seismic upheaval are too accurate to ignore. Start prepa -- MESSAGE END

Status: Deleted.

June 4, 2003 4:12 pm 125119+469531 Concatenated Message Retrieved: Deleting messages from me will not help you survive. Read and record everything I send. When the quake hits, you want to be East of Pleasant -- MESSAGE END

Status: Deleted

June 4, 2003 5:06 pm 123119+759469 Concatenated Message Retrieved: Edward. Seriously. Stop being a fuckwit and save this message. Save all of these messages and archive them somewhere. I am trying to save -- MESSAGE END

Status: Archived

***

June 4, 2003 5:29 PM

Dear Customer Service,

I hope you can help me. Of late I have been receiving the strangest series of text messages. They all begin the same way: "Concatenated Message Retrieved," and each of them contains a dire warning of some sort. I believe I am being pranked by some friends of mine and I would love to be able to mindfuck them right back. Can you help me figure out where these messages are coming from? I deeply appreciate any assistance you can offer.

Sincerely,

Edward Hightower

***

June 4, 2003 5:32 PM

Mr. Hightower,

Thank you so much for contacting our Customer Service Center. We aim to provide the very best in Cellular Customer Service, with call centers open twenty-four hours a day as well as live helpline chat and tech support.

We are currently looking into your support issue and someone from our Tech Support division will be getting back to you with an answer soon. In the meantime, please check out our FAQ option in the Help menu and see if your issue may be resolved with the help of the links provided.

Again, we deeply appreciate the opportunity to help you today, and look forward to hearing from you again soon.

April Johansen
Associate Customer Service / Tech Support Assistant Lead Assistance Team Associate Team Leader

***

June 5, 2003 9:08 AM

Dear Ms. Johansen,

Thank you so much for your timely response yesterday. It's nice to know that there's someone there willing to help out so quickly.

Per your suggestion, I have thoroughly investigated all of the questions and their associated links on your FAQ page, but none of them are related to my issue and I have found that avenue of inquiry to be a dead end.

Customer Service / Tech Support has yet to contact me with any answers. Can you offer me some kind of timeframe in which I can expect a response?  I am still receiving strange text messages; here's the most recent one:

"June 5, 2003 2:08 am 122119+497859 Concatenated Message Retrieved: This is not a phone malfunction or a prank. It is a dire warning from your future self. Customer Service cannot help you. Beware lest they -- MESSAGE END"

This makes me wonder if I am being hacked. Looking forward to your response, as paranoia is not what I like with my coffee in the morning.

Thanks ever so,

Edward Hightower

Charming Customer

***

June 5, 2003 9:12 AM

Mr. Hightower,

Thank you so much for contacting our Customer Service Center. We aim to provide the very best in Cellular Customer Service, with call centers open twenty-four hours a day as well as live helpline chat and tech support.

We are currently looking into your support issue and someone from our Tech Support division will be getting back to you with an answer soon. In the meantime, please check out our FAQ option in the Help menu and see if your issue may be resolved with the help of the links provided.

Again, we deeply appreciate the opportunity to help you today, and look forward to hearing from you again soon.

April Johansen
Associate Customer Service / Tech Support Assistant Lead Assistance Team Associate Team Leader

***

June 5, 2003 9:37 am 129119+495679 Concatenated Message Retrieved: April Johansen doesn't exist. Or, if she does, she no longer works there. Proof that I'm you: The Lovin' Spoonful is best soundtrack for 1970's Playboy -- MESSAGE END

***

June 5, 2003 12:52 PM

Dear April,

It's been a long time. I'm sorry to have to contact you via your work e-mail, but I've been trying to get ahold of you for so long, and you never return my phone calls.

April, I'm the father of your child. I know I am because of a vision from Jesus. I my vision, we were dancing on a yacht owned by Groucho Marx, and Carol Channing in a tight Admiral's uniform was looking for Jackie Gleason as Harry Nilsson strummed an acoustic guitar amid body-painting hippies. 

Surely Christ our Lord sent me this vision. Could Christ our Lord and Otto Preminger be the same person? In hopes that you will respond soon, I have washed down four Xanax with Bulleit Frontier Whiskey Bourbon. I have also written your name on my thigh with indelible marker.

Your name is now pale and hairy. 

Please come see it,

Edward Your Long Lost Love and his Network of Psychic Friendlies

***

June 5, 2003 12:56 PM

Mr. Hightower,

Thank you so much for contacting our Customer Service Center. We aim to provide the very best in Cellular Customer Service, with call centers open twenty-four hours a day as well as live helpline chat and tech support.

We are currently looking into your support issue and someone from our Tech Support division will be getting back to you with an answer soon. In the meantime, please check out our FAQ option in the Help menu and see if your issue may be resolved with the help of the links provided.

Again, we deeply appreciate the opportunity to help you today, and look forward to hearing from you again soon.

April Johansen
Associate Customer Service / Tech Support Assistant Lead Assistance Team Associate Team Leader

***

June 5, 2003 12:58 pm 126119+364957 Concatenated Message Retrieved: By now you maybe believe me. But your e-mails will be noticed within the week and the flaw I'm exploiting to contact you will be fixed. MESSAGE END

Status: Archived

June 5, 2003 1:04 pm 124119+753951 Concatenated Message Received: Pay close attention to any further messages from me. I will signal you with the word, "Hornet." Stop being so damned stupid. Marry Veronica now. MESSAGE END

Status: Archived

June 5, 2003 1:12 pm 127119+613795 Concatenated Message Received: Also, carry extra food on the Roosevelt/Solomons Trail when you backpack it in 2009. Stash that food near Dragon Lake or Bench Lake, in -- MESSAGE END

Status: Archived

***

June 11, 2003 10:06 AM

Dear Mr. Hightower,

Thank you for your persistent contact regarding your SMS failure. We have thoroughly investigated the message you quoted to us, as well as the records of your recently received messages. We cannot find any source for the messages you received, and the digits in the message do not match any of our error codes. 

The only conclusion we are able to draw is that your account has been hacked. For this we apologize; we have taken every measure imaginable in repairing the situation. In order to prevent any further contact from the hackers, we will have to wipe your phone clean. All of your text messages and contact information will be deleted in one hour. We apologize for any inconvenience.

Should you wish to keep any of your text messages, we suggest you forward them to a friend or loved one within the next forty-five minutes.

Again, Mr. Hightower, we thank you for your patience and your continued business.

Sincerely,

Tom Butler

Customer Service Lead

***

June 11, 2003 11:48 AM

Dear Tom,

Having just awakened after a late night of technical rehearsal, I am desperate to retrieve the messages you've wiped from my phone. Is there no way to get them back?

Why would you erase those messages in one hour? Why not 24 hours? I'll be honest, this seems a little freakily punitive. Why did you have to erase all the messages? Some of them were incredibly important. Some of them were from people I've lost. Why would you do this to a paying customer?

I know the "concatenated" messages were possibly erroneous, but I wanted to keep records of them. This is genuinely upsetting to me. 

I would like to be put in direct contact with your superiors, and with anyone who can help me resolve this situation. 

Edward Hightower

***

June 11, 2003 11:52 PM

Dear Mr. Hightower,

Thank you for contacting me. I am currently away from my desk. 

Should you need immediate assistance, please contact our Helpdesk at 1-800-555-1212.

Thanks, 

Tom Butler
Customer Service Lead

***

June 11, 2003 11:56 PM

Dear Tom,

I'll be honest: I'm enraged. You are on the verge of losing a customer permanently, and how you respond to this message will decide the matter.

I want all of my messages and contacts back, or a way better offer.

Please see to it that your superiors contact me immediately.

Sincerely,

Edward Hightower

***

June 11, 2003 11:52 PM

Dear Mr. Hightower,

Thank you for contacting me. I am currently away from my desk. 

Should you need immediate assistance, please contact our Helpdesk at 1-800-555-1212.

Thanks, 

Tom Butler
Customer Service Lead

***

June 12, 2003 12:06 am 1+271-196-1379 Message: Hey, it's me. I hope this works. You were right, they wiped my phone and I don't get mess -- MESSAGE END

June 12, 2003 12:07 am 1+271-196-1379 Message: ages from you any more. If this is a joke, call me gullible. Playboy and Lovin' Spoonful -- MESSAGE END

June 12, 2003 12:07 am 1+271-196-1379 Message: were exactly right. So, very good guess vs. you and I are the same person. Either way, I -- MESSAGE END

June 12, 2003 12:08 am 1+271-196-1379 Message: want to talk to you. Please let me know best way to reach you. Keeping eyes open for "Hornet." -- MESSAGE END

June 12, 2003 12:08 am 1+271-196-1379 Message: For now, thank you: wonder and hope for adventure restored, I feel renewed, reborn. -- MESSAGE END

***

Text Messages from Future Self (dublin / pleasanton / livermore)

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Date: 2003-06-12, 2:00PM PDT
Reply to: hmjk4-3194999844@comm.craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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I recently received several text messages from someone purporting to be my future self.

Each message seemed to revolve around dire warnings of an impending cataclysm.

I contacted customer service for my cell phone company and they erased all my texts and contact info.

Has anyone else received such messages, and can anyone make any suggestions as to how to find who sent the messages, or how to get back in contact with them?

If it really was my future self, I want to get more information. If it was a prank, I want to find the perps and have savory revenge.

Thanks in advance,

Hornet

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PostingID: 3194999844