Notes from the Future: The Ridge, Part I

June 24

12:42 am

Veronica is out there in the darkness. I can hear her footsteps, hear her calling Max. She left the flashlight here. I call out to her, or I think I do. Pretty sure I called out to her. I go to roll down my window and there's a grinding, crunching sound. Ah, yes: the window is already down. Mostly embedded in my right arm, scattered on the floor and melted onto the rock and shovel that, for all I know, may still be smoking in the middle of the street somewhere in San Ramon. There's also a pretty good chance that they burned up. Or have melted into the tasties of lava soup.

I'm was feeling pretty funny at the moment. Not so much ha ha, but as though I was inside a constant deja vu when I sat on the ridge and am calling for V to come back. I know this feeling. I am having it as I sit on our couch last January and waited for V and Edith to get back, it is as though I was remembering other peoples' versions of my memories of right now. I feel very dizzy.  When was the last time I am eating breakfast and I'm packed and Veronica is angry at Edward for wanting to go, was that it?

"Veronica, come back and let's follow him in the car! It has brighter lights than you do," I shouted and she's right there next to me, buckling her seat belt.

"I know, ass, you've been yelling that since I got out of the car," she murmurs this, and turned to look at me. "I also heard you saying, 'Dizzy, not again,' or something like that. So. What's up. You freaking out on me, Mister?" Her voice, hard with businesslike nursey zeal, breaks for a moment into panic and made me see clearly how scared she is. Edward stared at her a moment, blinking, thinking, 'In a movie, try not to blink.'

"I'm dizzy. Don't freak out. It's like that thing last January, where I went to the hospital. My head doesn't hurt ... as much. I don't think I noticed it hurts until just now. Where's Max the Wonderdog, please can we find him first I'm sorry I didn't grab his leash as he passed me, his tail whacked me in the eyes and I was distracted," I say and she is concerned about me, I could see it in her eyes.

"I thought you were grabbing his leash, honey, I'm just as much to blame. Let's get our boy and get you some food," she turned the key and the car comes awake, clear and bright with relatively new headlights. Edward is pleased I replaced them both in February.

There is a rumbling sound. V braked. The car vibrated like it's on a paint shaker.

"Holy shit, we're on top of a ... " she started, but the rumbling trails off, and I am so dizzy. It was worse now.

She drives forward and I clicked the flashlight on, shining it out to the right. To the East. We should be far away in the mountains right then. I glance ahead and Max ran across the road, just on the edge of the spill from the headlights. "There!" I shout or we 

The car stopping she car door open standing Max! Come! I yell it too. No Max. Want a biscuit? No Max. Dark here. Seems like smoke blocked fire light I'm checking iPhone it was charged what is my security code? Password to first yahoo email addy was all Edward could remember and his sister-in-law passed him a plate of stuffing just as Jeff told Grandpa that they were naming their second child Jamal. Everyone laughed, even Mom, though her laughter had that just-a-little-too-loud-because-I'm-slightly-panicked quality to it. They did not name him Jamal they why is there someone there in the dark I remember the code and the phone was open i hit voice memo my head hurts so much it is recording

"Tad, where is the flashlight?!" 

"The flashlight is in my fucking hand but so is a plate of stuffing and turkey and you have no fucking idea what it's like to want to eat that shit right now, so fuck the fuck off and get me some fucking turkey! That was totally unreasonable of me! I have NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON!" i am staring at the button Edward could not remember how to turn it

"Max, good boy, look who's pooping right there, oh my God that's a lot of poop," she laughing

"Max, I would say good boy to you, too, and I do!" but someone else is talking someone in the dark behind Max said and Azazel and Azazel what does that mean and the ground shaking rumble

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