Oakenboard Annie

Last year around this time I was posting about Oakenboard's Oliver!, for which I was rehearsing around the same time I was performing as Warbucks in Annie. Those of you who obsess over the minute details of my life will remember that there was some backlash from upset parents over Mitchellson Mitchellson's directorial modus operandi. One of the reasons I never wrote about that production afterwards was that it was cancelled.

Oh, but why?, I hear you cry.

Mitchellson Mitchellson gave a variety of reasons, but my favorite was what he told me: he was concerned that my Warbucks and my Fagin would be too much alike.

"Mitchellson, you know my work, and the characters are nothing alike; do you really think I'd let Fagin be Warbucks?"

"Oh, no, it's not that. I'm worried that your Warbucks will be perceived as Jewish because people know you're rehearsing Fagin. I don't want people to associate anti-Semitic rhetoric with this theatre company," he leaned forward, very sincere.

He was forgetting, perhaps, that the majority of his actors and audience are Christian Fundamentalists who believe that the Grand Canyon was put there by God to test our faith in the bible. Either way, that production of Oliver! was put on hold. Forever.

I just got a voicemail from Mitchellson Mitchellson; verbatim: "Edward! We're doing Annie and I'm adding an exclamation point. As in Oliver!, only Annie!, because they're basically the same show. You know what that means! Violence! I want you for my Warbucks, but it's Warbucks filtered through Bill Sykes! You will beat the shit out of that curly red moppet and Dick Cheney will blush with shame! Call me aysap, bye. [thump] Oh Christ, it's cellular [click, papers rustling, thump] *sigh* Did you see his Warbucks? Gayest thing since Liberace in patriotic sequins. [rustle, rustle, numeric keys pushed] ... It's not ringing. It's ... hello? Ian? I must have your voicemail. It's Mitchellson Mitchellson calling! We're doing Annie and I'm adding an exclamation point. You know what that means! Violence! I want you for my Warbucks, but it's Warbucks filtered through Bill Sykes! You will beat the shit out of that curly red moppet and we'll make Pol Pot stand up and cheer. Call me before Hightower does. Bye! [keypad pressed] How do you ... oh ... shit. [beep]."

I haven't done a show since Annie at SCT last year. Good to hear he liked it, since I know he didn't see it.

I've been offered other stuff, but none of it pays enough to cover gas or transit expenses. People get offended when I ask. So I'm unemployed and I've been unemployed now since June. Very depressing. So depressing that I'm actually considering doing a show at Oakenboard, in spite of, well, Oakenboard.

What do you think, readers? Is it worth my time, or would I be better off lurking about the grounds of stately Hightower Manor, trying to get my dog to wear womens' clothing? Can I do both? Is it too much? Do you like beans?