NFTF: Star Anise Crop Linked To Mysterious Interloper

By David Diabilo Contra Costa Times

June 22, 2005

Danville, California -- Locals have spotted a mysterious intruder lurking near the base of the Danville Oak Tree of late, and despite repeated attempts at removal, this unwanted visitor appears to be flourishing. The name of the visitor is Star Anise, and while to some it may not matter what plants grow where, the Town of Danville's Indigenous Species Alliance (DISA) considers it a potentially grave matter.

"We love Danville, and we love the indigenous species that flourish here," said Betty Washington, founder and leader of the group. "We find it very upsetting that these non-indigenous species are secretly planted without any concern for local flora and fauna, but even more disturbing is the fact that nobody on the Town Council seems to care about why the plants are there or where they came from." Washington delivered these remarks as she led a group of similarly passionate retirees in the removal of about an acre of ice plant from an embankment on San Ramon Valley Road.

When asked about the mysterious presence of Star Anise growing at the base of the Danville Oak Tree, Jed Johnson, Maintenance Services Director for the Town of Danville, said that the Town is working tirelessly to help control the advance of non-indigenous species, and that, " ... we truly appreciate the fervor and generosity of people like Mrs. Washington. It's a big help when educated volunteers coordinate with us to help keep Danville beautiful."

"That still doesn't address the problem of the source of these plants," said Washington after reading an approved transcript of Johnson's interview. "I've been to multiple Council Meetings, I've asked all the local gardeners -- I even infiltrated a group of supposed 'eco-terrorists'!" Asked what she learned in that group, Washington said, "I'm pleased to report that they are as ecologically-minded as I am; these kids were arrested for making and scattering seed balls out of red clay powder. The seeds? Indigenous oak acorns, California poppies and other California wildflowers that flourish in this region. If that's terrorism, call me Bin-Laden, because I've been throwing seeds into vacant lots since I was a child. Arrest me quick, because I won't stop."

Asked if she has any theories about how the plants arrived, Washington was enthusiastic: "Well, it's him, of course. It's the Time Traveler we saw at the old Dairy." 

Readers may remember the incident reported May 21, wherein a homeless man disappeared from the back of a local police vehicle en route to the Santa Rita jail. According to Washington, the planter of the Star Anise and the disappearing Time Traveler are one and the same: "I didn't see him myself, but Myrtle Talbeck and Louise Bettencourt were out for an early-morning walk and they saw him. It was the same man, same clothes, everything. He was dancing around the tree. Gesturing and dropping rocks, they said. But the thing was, he was going in a specific direction. Clockwise." Asked about the significance of this direction, Washington confided that it's "specific" to " ... Pagans, with a capital 'P'." 

Washington even has a photo, taken with Myrtle Talbeck's iPhone. It's a grainy, blurred image of someone near the base of the Danville Oak. Washington says she showed it to all of her friends who witnessed the events with the self-proclaimed Time Traveler in late May. "They all recognized him. They didn't even need to be asked who it was, they just looked at it and said, 'Oh, it's the Time Traveler.' And before you ask, I'll tell you: I asked the Town Council if they had the seeds planted there because, you know, what if he works for Jed Johnson? Some kind of re-integration for PTSD Iraq War Vets. No such program exists in Danville. And my question is, Time Traveler aside, why not?"

As of publication, neither the Town Council nor Jed Johnson had any comment.